Twisted Fates
by intelligentalex12
Summary: 18 year old Severus Snape has just graduated from Hogwarts. When he finds a boy named Harry on his doorstep one night, what will happen to the two of them?
1. Chapter 1

Severus shot up straight in his chair, blinking sleep out of his eyes and stretching his aching form. He had been fast asleep, his head hanging loosely from his chest, obscured by curtains of black hair. His hand was still clasped around the butterbeer bottle, half full of golden liquid and in danger of toppling over, that stood upon the table. A quick glance to the clock hanging over the kitchen wall showed that it was nearing midnight, the shadowy darkness of the room confirming this. A shuffling, clinking noise resounded around the room, breaking the thick silence and causing Severus to nearly topple out of his chair. That must've been what had woken him up in the first place.

The noise continued to echo throughout the room, and Severus pulled his wand out of his pocket and crept slowly toward the source, which seemed to be coming from his back porch. Severus stopped in his tracks, remembering that earlier that day he had put some dishes of milk and leftover dinner out on the porch, hoping to feed a stray cat and maybe earn himself a companion. Living alone had been lonelier than he expected, and he had often seen strays skulking around the neighborhood. Severus lowered his wand, now walking quickly toward the door.

He felt secure enough to set his wand down on the counter, and he switched on the light that would illuminate the cramped yard. The bright light momentarily blinded him before it pooled around the porch, bathing everything in sight in its warm yellow glow.

Severus took a step back, shock plastering his features. His jaw dropped, for instead of a starving cat there was a child sitting on his porch, blinking up at him through glasses that were taped together around the middle. A bread crust was in the boy's hand, and his brilliantly green eyes widened when he saw Severus standing there.

The boy stood up quickly and began to walk backwards, but he tripped over the hem of the too large pants that he wore. Severus shook off enough of his surprise to approach the boy, who put up an arm to cover his face. Standing over him, Severus hesitantly offered a hand to the boy, who continued to peer at him owlishly from over his arm. After a moment, he took the hand that was offered to him and rose to his feet.

"Er, why don't you come inside?" asked Severus after a minute of awkward silence passed between them. A look of indecision pasted itself onto the boy's thin face. Severus didn't have much experience with children, as he had been an only child and he never particularly related to children his own age. The boy seemed to be making up his mind, so Severus took this time to get a proper look at him. He was very thin, swimming in the clothes he wore, and Severus would guess that he was around six. His hair was a disheveled mass of black locks, and his eyes were extremely bright. He had only seen eyes like that before on one other person, and the sight of them made his head spin.

"Okay," the boy said finally, though the look on his face displayed some flickering of doubt. Severus led the way back to the porch, allowing the boy to pass before him into the kitchen.

"Take a seat," said Severus. The boy gingerly settled himself into one of the chairs around the kitchen table, which Severus noticed with a twinge of regret was extremely cluttered. He had told himself for the past few weeks that he would get around to cleaning this place up, but he never actually did it.

"I'll make you something to eat," said Severus, rifling through his cupboards for something a child would enjoy. Severus lived mostly on coffee and sandwiches, but he thought the boy might like something warm. After a couple minutes he found a package of macaroni and cheese, and he filled up a pot with water and set it to boil.

Severus's mind was swimming with questions to ask the boy, so while the water heated up he sat down across the table from him. He decided it would be best to start simply.

"What's your name?" he asked.

The boy's voice was surprising soft when he said, "Harry."

Severus had graduated from his Hogwarts class just about month ago, gaining every award in Potions that the school offered. With the savings he had saved up over the years from working a muggle job the past two summers and from the Potions awards, Severus had enough money to rent the little shack he lived in now. The place was a dump, and it badly needed several repairs, but Severus hadn't minded. He was finally free from living with his parents, and that was the best graduation gift he could give himself. The only thing that had gotten him through the past two summers was the glimmer of hope that he wouldn't have to stay under his drunken father's grasp for much longer. It was with great satisfaction that Severus had moved into the place. True, it was in a muggle town and he didn't know anyone there, but at least he had his freedom.

To earn money, Severus worked part time in various jobs around town, never staying at one thing for long. He had taken the summer off from any serious work, deciding to savor some leisure time while he could. He had been offered some Potions apprenticeships, and he was mulling over the thought of accepting one of them. However, the looming threat of the Dark Lord was adding more and more worry to his days.

While at school, Severus had been friends with the Death Eater crowd. They had accepted him where everyone else had ignored him, and it was enough to keep him brewing potions for them whenever they needed them; love potions, dreamless sleep potions, and whatever else they requested. Because of this, they had allowed him to tail along with them, bringing him to their secret meetings and telling him of their plans to join up with the Dark Lord as soon as they graduated. They expected Severus to come along with them, but the idea left him feeling slightly queasy.

Severus was brighter than most of his 'friends'. He knew that once he joined the Death Eaters, there would be no going back. He didn't know if he was ready to sign away his life. At the time, he had been a hurt child with no else to turn to, so he had agreed with all their plans. After Lily started ignoring him, it seemed like he had no other options for his life.

The pain of Lily ignoring him had faded somewhat, even though it was constantly there, like a dull ache that he became used to with time. The Death Eaters to be had already owled him a few times this summer, asking when he planned to join up or requesting potions. So far he had ignored their letters, but he had a feeling they wouldn't let that slide for long. The future stretched out like a lonely road before him, and the path was so dark he couldn't see where he was stumbling along.

Aside from these letters, no one from Hogwarts had contacted Severus. He spent his nights reading Potions magazines and brewing new potions. It had been thrilling at first, being able to do what he liked when he liked it. He had already stocked up on several useful potions, and he was thinking of sending in an article to _Potioneers Weekly. _However, the solitude did get to him, which was what led him to set out the dishes for the strays. He had made sure he placed wards around the yard, so that no one of danger could enter. The wards worked, for a hungry little boy didn't look like a danger to anything.

"How did you get here?" asked Severus, standing up to check the pot, where the first bubbles were beginning to rise to the surface. He poured the noodles into the pot, picking up the spoon to stir them around.

"I..I don't really know," said Harry.

Severus raised his eyebrows. "Surely you didn't just appear here," he said. "Are you parents looking for you?" The thought of returning Harry to a pair of frantic parents was enough to make Severus cringe.

"No," he said, looking down at his hands. "My parents are dead."

"Who do you live with, then?" asked Severus.

The boy stiffened in his seat. "My aunt and uncle."

"Well, aren't they looking for you?"

"I doubt it," said Harry with a snort.

Severus slowed his stirring. "What do you mean?" he asked. He couldn't imagine that Harry's relatives weren't sick with worry right now.

"They're probably glad I'm gone," said Harry, and he sounded so certain of this fact that Severus didn't doubt him. He knew what it was like to be unwanted by your relatives.

"Did you tell them you were leaving?" he asked, his tone neutral, not betraying the fact that unease had crept into the pit of his stomach.

"They told me to leave."

"What happened?" asked Severus, turning to face him, spoon still in hand.

Reluctance shadowed Harry's face, and he was quiet for such a long time that Severus thought he wasn't going to answer him.

"There was an..incident," he finally said, carefully choosing his words. "I did something freaky..not on purpose," he added quickly. "I was just really mad at my cousin. He's always a git to me, and he pushed me over when we were walking home from the park. Then…" Harry cleared his throat, but since he had started talking the words were tumbling out of him.

"It happened. Sometimes stuff just happens around me. I can't control it, but it makes my relatives really mad. I got this feeling in me, like everything was tingling. Then Dudley floated up into a tree…I know he can't climb. He's too fat," said Harry with a grin. "So he was stuck there, really high up, and he was screaming and crying like a baby. Some neighbors saw him and called my aunt." The grin faded from his face as he said it. "They had to get a ladder to bring him down. As soon as we got home he told her that it was all my fault."

Harry looked down at the table again while Severus's wind whirled with the new information. It sounded like the boy had magic in his blood, for the event reminded him of himself at a young age, unable to control his emotions. Those displays had always sent his father into a rage.

"I knew it would be bad when my uncle came home, so I left," finished Harry. "And somehow I managed to end up here. It was getting dark, and I was scared and hungry, and then…" he trailed off, unsure how to continue. He glanced at Severus with those large eyes, who saw that the boy was still afraid and hungry and tired and didn't know what to do.

"I see," said Severus as he added butter and cheese to the noodles, scooping them into a bowl and putting it before Harry, whose stomach let out a grumble. He passed him a spoon, and he eyed Severus before taking a small bite.

As Harry ate, Severus's thoughts drifted to Harry's story. It looked like he was living with muggle relatives who didn't understand magic, and probably treated the boy cruelly. The thought sent rage bubbling through Severus. Harry's magic must have transported him here, since there was food available and no threats to him. Severus looked up to see Harry eagerly finishing up the bowl.

"Want some more?" he asked. Harry shook his head, a hand creeping toward his stomach.

"I'm too full. Thank you," he said, and his voice was filled with gratitude. "I can leave now."

Severus arched an eyebrow at him. "Leave? I don't think so. It's the middle of the night and you have nowhere to go."

Harry's eyes widened once more. "You don't want me to leave? But you've already done enough for me," he said.

Severus shook his head. "I'll run a bath for you and then you can sleep here. We'll figure everything out in the morning."

"Thank you," Harry repeated, a yawn tacked onto his statement. Severus could see that he was exhausted.

"Come on," he said, standing up and stretching his tall frame, gesturing for Harry to follow him down the hall. Severus led him to the bathroom, where an old bathtub sat. Severus was grateful that there wasn't any damage to the bathtub as there was to the rest of the house. Turning the tap, a gush of hot water flowed from it. "I'll just leave you here till you're done. There's shampoo and soap there," he said, nodding toward the bottles on the sink before edging out of the room and closing the door with a snap.

Severus walked toward his bedroom, sinking down onto his bed and putting his head in his hands. What was he going to do with the boy? His relatives didn't want him, and he didn't have anywhere else to go. He put his head in his hands, pondering the situation he had gotten himself into. The truth was that Harry reminded Severus far too much of himself at that age, and pity and empathy were tugging at his usually cold heartstrings.

Severus heard the tap shut off. He decided that he would let Harry sleep in the bed tonight, and he would take the couch. Grabbing some extra blankets from his closet, Severus made himself a makeshift bed on the couch. It would do for one night. He went back to his room and added another blanket to the bed, thinking that Harry was probably cold after wandering around for however long he had been outside.

The thought occurred to him that Harry would need some clothes to sleep in. The rags he was in now were far too dirty, but Severus knew he didn't have anything that would fit the kid. He rummaged through his messy closet, throwing clothes here and there until he produced a shirt that was oversized on him. He figured Harry could sleep in it.

Severus rubbed his hand over his face, willing it to ease away his tiredness. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night, and the thought of spending this one on the couch was enough to make him rethink his actions. Instead, he made his way to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"I have some clothes you can sleep in when you're done," he said, feeling a bit awkward. "I'll just leave them out here," he said, setting them down on the floor and retreating to his room. He heard the door snap open, then closed. A few minutes later Harry was before him, the shirt down to his ankles. He yawned once more, eyelids drooping.

"This way," murmured Severus, leading him toward his bedroom. Harry crawled into bed and was out with minutes, a muttered, "Thanks," the last thing he said. Severus reached up and took off his glasses, setting them on the bedside table and pulling the covers up to his chin. He stepped out of the room, gently closing the door behind him.

Severus turned off the lights, the room filling with darkness once again as he settled himself onto the couch. The image of Harry's haunted eyes swam underneath his eyelids. What have I done? He thought to himself before sleep claimed him, pulling him toward the bliss of dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Just to make things clear, Harry has traveled back in time in this story.

Severus woke to a dull, throbbing pain in his temples. Cracking open his eyes, he groaned as the light hit them. Severus _hated _mornings. Turning onto his shoulder, Severus peered at the clock through his sleepy eyes. 8:35. What on earth was he doing up so early? Normally, Severus stayed up late into the night and slept late into the day, not rising until eleven at the earliest. Which was why he was confused for a few minutes about his rising at such an early hour. Then he heard it: the gentle clanking of pots and pans coming from the kitchen. Rolling up onto his elbow, Severus allowed his eyes to adjust to the weak daylight as he looked into the kitchen and saw a child moving about, a spatula in his hand as he stood over the stove flipping something.

The night's events came rushing back to Severus, which would explain why he was on the couch instead of in his room with the curtains drawn tightly, and why he was so sore. Standing up, Severus stretched, hoping to relieve some of his soreness, but it didn't do much good. He walked into the kitchen, throwing himself into a chair and rubbing his eyes. Now that he was awake there was no way he'd be able to get back to sleep. Didn't this kid know that you were supposed to be quiet when people were asleep?

"What are you doing up so bloody early?" grumbled Severus, who hadn't had his coffee yet and knew his tone was probably a bit harsh. Harry jumped, not having seen Severus enter the kitchen, and turned to face him, spatula held tightly in his hand.

"I was just making breakfast," he said, looking uncomfortable. He looked at the clock. "It's already past eight thirty. I usually make breakfast before that," he added, an unsure look crossing his face.

Severus ignored him and stood up, crossing over to the coffee maker, which to his surprise already had a full pot of coffee ready. Pouring himself a cup, Severus raised it to his lips, the black liquid nearly burning his throat as it went down, but he didn't mind very much. The steam twirled into his face, relaxing him.

"Sorry if I woke you up," said Harry, who was still watching Severus uneasily. Severus waved him off, content now that caffeine was entering his body.

"I'm just not a morning person," he said with a yawn.

"Oh," was all Harry said as he turned back to the stove.

"Should you be near that stove?" asked Severus suddenly. He was pretty sure that kids weren't supposed to mess around near them.

"I always make breakfast," said Harry simply, sliding out some eggs onto a plate and switching off the heat. He set the plate down on the table before Severus, walking toward the toaster, and retrieved another plate that was stacked high with toast. "I didn't know what you like on your toast," said Harry, gesturing toward the toast.

Severus was too tired to explain that, for him, breakfast consisted of a couple of cups of coffee. Instead he said, "It's fine like this," nodding to the plain toast.

"Okay," said Harry warily, looking at Severus as though he had an extra head. Harry continued to stand there while Severus reached out for some toast.

"Sit," said Severus, kicking out the chair across from him and rising to get an extra plate, which he set in front of Harry before returning to his seat. It occurred to him that Harry still didn't know his name. "I'm Severus, " he said, thinking he should have told him this the night before. Having been teased all his life about his name, Severus braced himself for some kind of comment, but Harry merely nodded at him. This didn't exactly invite conversation, which Severus didn't mind as he finished off his cup of coffee and got himself another one.

"You can eat, you know," said Severus, who had observed Harry glancing around the kitchen for the past ten minutes without eating anything he had made. Harry started when Severus spoke to him, then hesitantly reached over to the plate of toast and nibbled at a piece. _Not a very chatty kid, _thought Severus as he watched Harry.

Clearing his throat before he spoke, Severus said, "I guess we need to get some things figured out." Harry sat up straighter in his seat as Severus spoke, setting down his half eaten toast on the plate in front of him.

"Do you have any other relatives besides your aunt and uncle?" asked Severus. Maybe he could send Harry off to some kind grandparents or something. Harry just shook his head, looking down at his plate.

"What's your last name?" Maybe he could look it up in the phone book and make sure the kid wasn't lying to him.

"Potter," said Harry. Severus stiffened in his seat, his hands clenching the end of the table cloth. Potter? Was he related to James Potter? They certainly looked alike, with that messy black hair. Was this some joke of James's, maybe sending over one of his cousins to pull a prank on him?

As quickly as the thought entered his mind and seized him with anger, he relaxed. That was ridiculous, he told himself. Potter was a common last name. There were probably tons of people with the last name Potter living around here. Besides, he doubted James Potter even thought about him anymore now that he was out of Hogwarts. He was being silly.

"Are you okay?" asked Harry, looking at the way Severus's hands were clenched into fists. He relaxed them. He was certain now that this child wasn't related to James Potter; there was no way anyone related to James could have eyes that color.

"I'm fine," said Severus, lowering his hands beneath the table. "So you have no family except your aunt and uncle," mused Severus, rubbing his chin with his hand. Merlin, this was more difficult than he had thought.

"How old are you?" he asked Harry.

"Seven," he answered.

And he was only seven years old. There was no way he could send him back on the streets at that age. He didn't even know he was a wizard yet, like Severus suspected. Seven was the age when the most powerful accidental magic happened, and bringing him back to his aunt and uncle when they didn't seem to tolerate magic wasn't a good idea. He supposed there was nothing he could do except let Harry stay with him for a while.

"I guess you'll have to stay here for a bit," said Severus carefully. Harry's eyes widened.

"Are you sure? I can leave," said Harry after a moment, repeating what he had said last night.

"You're seven," said Severus slowly, his tone sharp. "You can't just go into the streets with no food, no money, and nowhere to go."

Harry blinked a bit at his sharp tone. "I can take care of myself," he said.

"No you cannot. End of discussion," said Severus as he stood up and brought his plate to the sink. Harry stayed in his seat, fiddling with his toast, before he spoke up.

"I can work for you if I'm going to stay here," he said.

"Work for me? You're seven," repeated Severus with a bark like laugh as he returned to his seat. "Now, if you're going to stay here we're going to have to get some new clothes for you, " he said, glancing at the oversized shirt that Harry was wearing from the night before. Harry's cheeks flushed as he said this.

"You don't have to-," he began, but Severus spoke over him.

"We can't go today because I have work later. But we can tomorrow," he said. Severus didn't go shopping much, but he thought they could get this over with quickly. A couple pairs of T-shirts and some jeans would be manageable, since he still had some extra money stored away from his Potions awards. Not to mention the money he would receive if he sent in that article he had half-written into _Potioneers Weekly. _ Lost in his thoughts, it was a few minutes before he looked up at Harry, whose face was still a bit red.

"I have to go to work today," said Severus with the customary scowl that he wore whenever he thought about his muggle job. "So I'll be gone later. I suppose I should also go get some groceries," he added. He wondered what kids ate, throwing a glance at Harry, who had shifted his gaze down to his plate once more. Severus suppressed a sigh with difficulty; Harry didn't seem likely to engage in conversation any time soon.

"I think I'll go now, actually," said Severus, standing up once again. "I'll be back soon. There's a TV in the front room," said Severus, hoping that would be enough to occupy Harry's time. He didn't wait for Harry to answer before he was out the door, walking down the street to the grocery store.

Severus didn't know what it was about Harry, but he made him uneasy. Perhaps it was because he was so unnaturally quiet, or the way he looked at him with those big eyes. He just didn't seem very childlike, Severus thought as he tossed a box of pasta into the cart he was pushing through the store. Severus didn't know how to act around him, so he supposed that was also part of the problem. He was used to being by himself for so long that having another person in the house made him distinctly uncomfortable.

Making his way to the line at the register, Severus looked at what he was going to purchase. He had several cartons of juice, which he hoped Harry would drink. Some boxes of pasta, sauce, a few frozen pizzas, cereal, peanut butter, fruit snacks, biscuits…things he would never pick out for himself. Oh well, he thought, even though he couldn't imagine himself eating pizza.

After checking out, Severus carried his bags home, unlocking the front door and entering the kitchen. He was surprised to see Harry there instead of in front of the TV. Harry was putting away dishes, and Severus noted with surprise that he had washed them all.

"You didn't have to do that," said Severus as he started putting away some things. Harry jumped at the sudden noise, then gave Severus a shrug.

After Severus finished putting the dishes away, the day passed slowly, filled with mostly awkward silences and the blare of the TV. Severus found himself almost relieved when the time rolled around for him to go to work. He left quickly, telling Harry that he would be back in a few hours, and told him to fix himself some dinner.

Severus scowled up at the post office where he worked, the way he scowled at it every time he passed it. Walking up the front steps, he unlocked the door with his employee key and entered the cool, dark building. His job was an ordinary muggle one: sorting through mail and putting it into people's post boxes for the next morning. The main reason he had accepted was because he got to do the job alone, at night, and without any other distractions. Still, it was extremely boring, and Severus felt it was a waste of his talents.

Tonight, however, Severus was glad for the work. He needed to get his thoughts in order. He was hopeless at talking to Harry, so how was he going to be able to take care of him for however long he planned on it? He hadn't thought past the end of this week. Harry couldn't stay with him forever, but where was he supposed to go? An orphanage? A foster home? The thought made him cringe. From what Harry had told him, he was a wizard, and Severus didn't like the idea of sending a wizard to a muggle family who wouldn't understand the strange incidents happening around Harry. What if they turned out to be just like his aunt and uncle?

Severus paused in his work as a thought occurred to him. He could contact Dumbledore. Surely Dumbledore would know what to do. Severus didn't know why he hadn't thought of it sooner. He could write Dumbledore, have him come over, and hand Harry over to him. It was the perfect plan. The only problem was that Severus didn't have an owl, as he had no one to write to. When the Death Eaters wrote to him, he sent back whatever he was sending with their owls. He had never had a reason to own one himself; what would he do with it? He imagined himself sending an owl to one of the Death Eaters, virtually his only contact since he didn't want anything to do with his family and Lily had ignored him: _Hey Lucius, how's it going? _The thought was almost enough to make him laugh.

He'd figure out a way to get an owl, even if he lived in a muggle town. It might take some work finding a wizarding village near here, but he was sure to find one soon. The thought filled him with content as he set about finishing up his work.

Severus made his way home a few hours later, the sky dark around him and a few stars winking at him. Easing open the front door, he thought for a moment that he had walked into the wrong house. The place was _clean. _Cleaner than it probably had been in years. The floors were polished, things were put in their proper places, the bed was made, the tables dusted, and the dishes stacked neatly in their cupboards. It must have been Harry, thought Severus. Though he wasn't sure why Harry would go to all this trouble.

He walked into the living room and found Harry asleep on the couch, his hand curled around a rag and a bottle of polish on the now gleaming coffee table. He looked peaceful in his sleep, and Severus gently tugged the rag from his hand, put the polish away, and took off his glasses. Severus grabbed some blankets, which were now stacked in the hall closet, and put them over the child. He didn't want to risk waking him up to go to the bed.

Severus sat at the kitchen table for a few hours, drinking butterbeer and working on his potions article. Every so often he glanced at the figure of Harry, small and curled up under the sheet.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but I was on vacation last week. Also, as a reviewer pointed out to me, Severus is 18 (not 17) in this story because his birthday is in January. Sorry for that mistake. Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_Still asleep, _thought Severus as he glanced over yet again at the figure of Harry, lying curled up on his side on the couch. The ease of sleep had smoothed out his face, showing how young he really was. His pale skin was etched with dark circles underneath his eyes. It made sense really, since using large amounts of magic was an extremely draining process, especially when an underage wizard was the one doing the magic. Severus guessed that Harry must have used up a lot of his magical core to travel here and direct him to the house of another wizard. It was a wonder that the boy hadn't passed out like this the night he arrived and had risen so early the previous morning.

It was now nearing one in the afternoon. Severus had woken at eleven thirty and spent his day so far reading, a cup of hot coffee near him, glancing up every so often to check on Harry. The boy had yet to move, his figure unnaturally still and always in that cramped position. Severus couldn't imagine sleeping like that himself, since it looked so uncomfortable.

Severus brought his coffee cup up to his lips and drank from it, his mind wandering away from the book he was reading. He didn't have work today, and normally such a day would stretch out before him with nothing to do except read and brew potions. Now, however, he had someone to take care of besides himself, even if it just was for a little while. A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth at the thought. Severus had never even babysat before; how on earth was he supposed to take care of a child now? He sent another glance at Harry's sleeping figure. Maybe he should just owl Dumbledore right now and get this out of his hands. Harry would probably be much better off with Dumbledore or the Ministry. It really wasn't his problem, was it?

Severus had half risen from his seat to set his plan in action when he heard a sound coming from the couch. He turned his head slightly in that direction, watching with slight surprise as Harry moved for the first time. His hands twisted the sheets about himself and he was muttering to himself, though he was speaking so softly that Severus couldn't understand what he was saying. A few more minutes of this passed, until Harry's eyes snapped open and his movements stilled, catching of Severus half crouching over the couch.

"Wha…" he began, confusion clouding his green eyes. His thin knuckles worked themselves into hi s eyes as he sat up. Severus took advantage of this opportunity to straighten up out of his awkward crouching position. For a moment after that, Severus and Harry just stared at each other, a thick silence around them.

"You were talking in your sleep," said Severus after a few moments.

"Sorry," said Harry, looking down at his lap.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," said Severus, inwardly cringing at his inability to carry out a conversation with Harry, who he somehow managed to embarrass into silence every time he talked to him. At this rate they would spend all their time together staring at the walls until Severus figured out exactly what he planned to do.

"I have dreams sometimes," said Harry suddenly, startling Severus out of his thoughts. "About a lot of green light. And some odd laughter," continued Harry, his face screwed up in thought. "I was having one of those dreams."

"Green light?" asked Severus, a chill running down his spine. In the wizarding world, green light came from the killing curse. But Harry couldn't possibly be dreaming of that, could he?

Harry nodded thoughtfully. "I have this dream all the time," he said, almost as if to himself. "Actually, I don't think it's really a dream. But it's not a nightmare, either. I mean..nothing's scary about green light, is there?"

Harry's gaze had turned up to meet Severus's, and he found that he couldn't distinguish the expression there. Filled with an inquisitive light, they reminded him so much of Lily's. Only there was something else there, an unease mixed with some other unidentified emotions that he had never seen in Lily's.

Severus didn't know what to say to Harry about his question, so he ignored it for the moment. "What about the laughter? Is that…scary?"

Harry tensed for a second, his hands clenching tightly around the sheets before he nodded.

Severus hesitated, indecision stilling him. He simply didn't know what to do here, and this was just one more reason why Harry should live with someone else as soon as possible. Someone who could comfort him and tell him that everything would be all right. Severus was not that person, not someone who anyone would turn to for comfort. Yet somehow, he found that his feet were making their way toward the couch and seating the rest of him next to Harry.

What did one say in a situation like this? It wasn't a typical nightmare, and thankfully Harry wasn't crying (Severus shuddered to think of what he would do in that situation), but the boy seemed so lost. He was wearing oversized clothes, sitting on a stranger's couch, didn't know he was a wizard, and was having chilling dreams of green light. It wasn't fair that he had to deal with this so young. Then again, what Severus had to deal with when he was young wasn't fair either, and no one had been there to help him when he had nightmares.

Severus ran a hand over his face; it wasn't right to think like that. Similar thoughts had chased across his mind all summer, thoughts of how everything had gone wrong and what was really the point anymore? Some nights, when he couldn't sleep, the offer of joining the Death Eaters wrapped itself into his thoughts until it seemed like a good idea. That was until thoughts of Lily entered his confused mind. Lily wouldn't want him to join the Death Eaters, but that didn't matter because she didn't care anymore and right now she was probably with James Potter who didn't deserve her. Thinking of James Potter made him think of Hogwarts, and how he and Lily had drifted apart, and how he had ruined everything, and then he was right back at the Death Eaters again, and his thoughts could go in this circle for hours and hours until it was dawn and he hadn't slept at all. His occlumency skills weren't even working right, no matter how hard he wished they would. He wanted to be numb, blank, emotionless, and maybe becoming a Death Eater would let him do just that.

Firmly putting these thoughts aside for later, Severus returned to the present situation.

"I have bad dreams sometimes,too," Severus said, which was true enough. Dreams where the word _mudblood _echoed off the trees around him and he was left standing alone cruel laughter bouncing around inside his ears.

"You do?" asked Harry. Severus nodded. "Do you have them a lot?" asked Harry, a quiet curiosity in his voice.

"Yes," said Severus. After a moment's hesitation, he added, "There's even laughter in it."

"Really?" asked Harry. "Whose?"

"My own," said Severus softly, more to himself than to Harry. Laughing at himself for being such a fool, for driving away the only good thing in his life. He didn't expect Harry to understand or reply, but the boy spoke quietly.

"Laughing shouldn't be bad." A soft sigh escaped his lips.

"But sometimes it is. In dreams. When you're awake, you can try and make laughter how it's supposed to be," said Severus, the words rushing out of his mouth. Harry looked up at him, a half smile on his lips. Severus thought it was the first time he'd seen Harry smile.

As evening was beginning to fall, Severus and Harry made their way toward the shopping center that was about a half an hour away from Severus's home, since it was on the other side of town. They were taking a bus there, sitting next to each on the grimy bus seat, their knees knocking into each other's every so often when the bus made a sharp stop or a rough turn. Harry was quieter than he had been that morning, his hands folded in his lap as he looked out the window. Severus was equally quiet, since he had never gotten friendly with anyone who lived in his neighborhood and now didn't appear to be the time to do so either. The bus reached their stop and Severus tapped Harry on the arm. They got off and walked toward the entrance.

Severus had never been here, so he didn't know which stores were for kids or where they were. He grimly concluded that they were going to have to spend time wandering around trying to find the right place, which was something Severus hoped to avoid. It would be best to get in and get out.

"Have you ever been here?" Severus asked Harry. Maybe he could direct them to the right places. Harry only shook his head.

Despite Severus's misgivings, finding a store that sold children's clothes was quite simple. Severus tried to get Harry to pick out the clothes himself, but since that task seemed to overwhelm him, Severus had done it himself. He had automatically reached for the black shirts, but reconsidered, deciding that Harry probably didn't have the same tastes as he did. Quickly pulling out several selections in what he thought was Harry's size, he asked if the boy liked them, to which Harry nodded. Grabbing some pants, socks, and underwear to go along with them, Severus made his way to the register in what must have been record time. Unfortunately, a long line stretched before them. Severus's dark eyes scanned the store, eyeing muggles as they went about their shopping, annoyed at several of their loud exclamations over items. Once they reached the front of the line, Severus quickly paid and exited the shop, Harry trailing behind him and mumbling his thanks.

Harry had asked if he could make dinner, but Severus waved him off. Severus could cook well when he put his mind to it; there were a lot of similarities to potion making, after all. While Severus set himself to making pasta, he told Harry to go try on his new clothes to see if they fit.

Harry padded out of his room as Severus was dicing tomatoes for the sauce. Looking up, Severus could only scowl. He hadn't picked that awful shirt out, had he? Harry was standing there in a red and gold striped polo, which fit him perfectly. _Gryffindor colors. _Severus's scowl deepened at the thought. He really should have paid more attention.

Harry peered up at him through his glasses. "Is something wrong?" he asked. Severus smoothed over his expression.

"No. Those pants seem a bit long, though," he said, looking at where the hems of the jeans had pooled together at the bottom.

"They're okay," said Harry, who had barely seemed to notice the long jeans as he walked.

"We can go back and exchange them for a smaller size if you want," said Severus. "That's probably best. I don't want you tripping all over the place."

"If you want," said Harry with a shrug.

"How do the other clothes fit?" asked Severus.

"The same as these," said Harry. "And..thanks again for all this."

Severus only nodded, and Harry took this for dismissal and made his way back to the bedroom where he would be sleeping tonight. Severus finished making dinner, chopping the vegetables, cooking the pasta, and putting them together. He set the table and called for Harry, where they spent their dinner in a pleasant silence broken only by the forks gently knocking against the rims of their bowls.

Severus settled himself onto the couch that night, his thoughts interrupted by how much Harry had looked like James Potter in those damn Gryffindor colors.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I hope to get back to updating regularly. Remember, there is time travel in this story.

"Check," came the voice, a hint of pride hidden within it. Severus tried to suppress the smile that crossed his lips as he saw Harry looking at him hopefully, green eyes peering up from beneath the black fringe. Severus made a show of scowling and inspected the board, easily seeing a move within seconds but drawing the silence out for over a minute before moving one of his pieces.

"Checkmate."

Harry frowned, staring hard at the chessboard in front of him. His shoulders slumped as he realized his mistake.

"Good game, though. Maybe you'll be able to beat me eventually," said Severus as he stretched, grinning as Harry put the chess pieces back in piece. The two had discovered that the TV did not hold much appeal for either of them, and instead had turned to other ways to pass their time. Teaching Harry to play chess had proved far easier than Severus had imagined, and he noticed, rather impressed, that the boy picked up on it rather quickly. Of course, Severus was able to beat him easily, but Harry was getting better every day.

Harry had been staying with Severus for about a week now. Severus had planned on contacting Dumbledore right away, but every day something caused the thought to slip from his mind or be pushed to the back of it. The pair had become a bit more comfortable with each other, Harry shedding some of his extreme shyness and responding to Severus with more than one-word answers. For the first time in a long time, Severus was eating hot meals on a regular basis. A twinge of guilt always ran through him as he saw Harry's short figure near the stove, but Harry only smiled and assured him that he enjoyed cooking; in fact, it was one of the only chores his aunt and uncle gave him that he enjoyed.

As the thought of Harry's aunt and uncle entered his mind, an uncomfortable feeling shifted in his stomach. Another thing he had been putting off was talking to Harry more about his relatives. Besides the initial conversation they had had about why he had run away, the topic had yet to be explored. Severus couldn't help but think it was irresponsible of him. After all, shouldn't he contact them and explain what had happened to Harry? Even if they weren't the most loving of guardians?

"Harry?" called Severus, deciding that it would be best to get this conversation over with.

Harry looked up from where he sat, diligently putting the chess pieces back to their proper places.

"Yes?"

"Could you come here for a minute?"

Harry's eyes betrayed a flicker of curiosity as he walked over and perched himself on the couch, nearly a foot away from Severus.

"I think we should talk more about your relatives." There, he had said it. Inwardly wincing, Severus kept his face emotionless as he noted the way Harry's face had drained of color.

"Are you…am I going back there?" he said, biting his lip and peering up at Severus through his fringe. Severus scowled at the nervous expression on Harry's face; he had meant to make this conversation easy.

"No," said Severus shortly, hoping he wasn't making a promise he couldn't keep. "I just need to know more about them."

Harry remained silent, his fingers fiddling with a stray thread on his sleeve. The silence stretched on for a few minutes longer before Harry said quietly, "What do you want to know?"

"Let's start with the basics," said Severus, hoping to ease the boy into the conversation. "What are their names?"

Even that question took the boy some time to answer. "Petunia and Vernon. Dursley." His green eyes were fixed firmly in his lap as he spoke, as if even looking at Severus might get him sent back to them.

Severus's eyes flashed at the name Petunia. The name was enough to release a flood of emotions, memories of Lily and his childhood flicking briefly before his eyes. It was almost like he was a child again, Petunia's sneering face block Lily from his view and pulling her along home with her. The sudden shock of emotions was unexpected, his hands balling themselves into fists.

Harry eyed him nervously and moved back a few inches, a guarded look creeping into his eyes. Severus calmed down enough to realize that he had frightened the boy; gritting his teeth in frustration, he attempted to soothe Harry's unease.

"I used to know someone named Petunia. I didn't like her very much."

"Well I don't like her very much either," mumbled Harry, then snapped his mouth shut.

"Why don't you like her very much?" asked Severus, tone neutral.

Harry paused even longer this time, indecision hovering over him. What if Severus agreed with Aunt Petunia and sent him back?

Severus didn't press the boy for answers. He merely leaned back into the couch, working to present an open and approachable figure to the boy. Working with death eaters in training at Hogwarts had required a careful measure of their emotions, and he often had to use his body language to present himself the right way. The thought of the Death Eaters sent a nervous tumbling feeling through his stomach, but Severus did his best to push it down. That was a thought for another day.

"I told you how I do weird stuff," Harry began, a reluctant twist spinning his words. "They don't like it. Tell me I'm a freak." The last sentence was mumbled once again, Harry's eyes now firmly glued to his shoes. Severus felt a pang of empathy go through him. If what Harry was talking about was like anything he had to go through, it was awful. Every memory of his father's explosions about magic were etched firmly in his mind, no matter how much Occlumency he practiced.

"You're not," said Severus, his voice calm and steady. Harry's eyes flickered upward for a second, doubt shadowing them.

"You don't know that."

Severus wanted so badly to explain things to Harry. To tell him that he was a wizard, that what he was experiencing was perfectly normal, and that his relatives were completely wrong. But the words stuck in his throat, and instead he simply said, "Yes, I do."

Harry remained silent, his shoes scuffing along the floor. Severus braced himself for the next question he knew he must ask, gritting his teeth before letting the words spill out.

"Have they ever hurt you?"

Suddenly, Harry stopped moving his feet, all fidgeting ceasing. Then he stood abruptly, his thin shoulders stooping as he nearly whispered, "I don't want to talk about this anymore." Without saying anything else he walked out of the room, hands shoved into his pockets as he made a speedy retreat down the hall.

The exit had confirmed Severus's worst fears. He knew firsthand how difficult it was to talk about, the shame and loneliness that could course through you at any moment. Those relatives of his must have hurt him for being a wizard, the notion compelling Severus to go to their house right now and hex them senseless.

Instead, he stood and made his way rather clumsily toward the kitchen. He didn't notice his hands were shaking until he reached for a bottle to pour himself a drink. Sighing, he set the bottle down. He couldn't drink around a kid, even if he knew how to control himself. He needed his complete awareness to try and find sort of solution to the puzzle set before him. If he tried to talk to Harry about his relatives again, he was sure that the boy would seize up just as he had today.

A strange thought flitted across his mind. Petunia…was it possible that it was some relation of Lily's? Perhaps an aunt or cousin to the girls, from whom the Petunia he knew had gotten her name from? It would seem ridiculous to him if it weren't for the fact that the boy possessed the most stunning eyes he had ever seen: Lily's eyes. But if it were the case that he was related to Lily, why would his relatives treat him so? Severus knew Lily's parents. They were kind, warm, and always willing to have Severus over. A smile crawled across his face as he remember sitting in Lily's kitchen, her mother hovering near them and bringing them plates of cookies and little cakes to munch on, making sure Severus was comfortable. And her father, the gentle sway of his voice and the way he made Severus feel as if his opinion was the most important in the world, asking him what he thought about this or that whenever he stayed over for dinner. How could anyone related to those lovely people have a relative who treated their nephew harshly.

_Ah, but Petunia Evans was related to them. _That thought gave him a shred of certainty to cling to. They were the parents of Petunia too, after all. Perhaps this other Petunia was where Petunia Evans had gotten her mean streak.

The idea was only plausible by the slimmest lines of reasoning. But no matter how slim, it was still there. And if it were true…

Severus ran his fingers through his hair. These ideas were making his brain go mad. Taking a deep breath, he tried to think of the most rational thing he could do here. He would just have to find out if it were true. But how could he do that? Unless he contacted Lily.

A tight circle of pain encircled his chest, so powerful that he sat down again. Severus couldn't remember the last time Lily had spoken to him, or even written him a letter. Writing her now would tear up all the emotions he tried to keep buried so deeply, the anger, regret, bitterness, depression, and uncertainty that tormented his dreams and kept him from sleeping some nights. Severus dug his nails into his palms to keep himself steady, closing his eyes briefly.

When he had gathered himself together, Severus stood again, this time filled with purpose. He had to pause for a moment to remember where the paper and quills where now, for Harry had reorganized everything. Opening the correct drawer, Severus snatched out the needed materials and made his way back to the couch. His quill soon dripped in black ink, and he held it over the parchment for a while before finally setting it down.

_Dear Lily, _

He began.


End file.
